Overdoing It Can Lead to Divorce

A few men and women are ready to file after every argument. Occasionally, one does and it actually makes the divorce come to pass. A divorce develops its own momentum. Start it at the drop of a hat, and you may not be able to stop it. Divorces get out of control. The spouse hit with an unsuspected divorce action gets the message it’s his or her fault that the relationship didn’t work. This spouse feels left behind and is likely to react defensively; often, the best defense is an offense.

At the other end of the spectrum are the many people who have stretched their fabrics to the breaking point. Women and men who have severely compromised themselves to accommodate an unhealthy relationship have a difficult time breaking out of their marriage.

June was unable to make any decision when she came in. Mark had so dominated and belittled her during their twelve years of marriage that she believed her opinion didn’t count. She backed off, then stopped asserting herself and finally lost her identity except for a pleasing manner. June now asserts herself and is happily living an independent life of her own choosing five years after the separation. June’s road was long and difficult because of the extraordinary concessions made for the relationship.

Place a realistic limit on what you will give to your relationship. Yes, marriage is a commitment, but that doesn’t mean you’re sentenced to a lifetime of intolerable discomfort. Your life and happiness count too.