Your Personal Divorce Support Network Benefits
Eric increased his malicious pranks and abusive behavior during his marriage to Betty until she refused to tolerate it any longer. She was afraid the pattern might be difficult to break, and was sure it would only get worse in the divorce proceeding. One especially close friend of hers came to our first meeting, and continued to support her throughout the messy divorce. This one special person helped make it possible for Betty to start, and finish, a difficult divorce.
You can ease and actually prevent pain, and speed up the process, by sharing with others. Your friends will not only be willing to listen and help, they’d probably feel left out and wonder what was wrong with you if you didn’t share your concerns.
Your support network doesn’t always have to remain in the background. June’s friends cared enough about her to meet her at the courthouse for an important hearing.
Mark contended he couldn’t pay the amount of child support they had previously agreed upon. June’s friends and advocates knew she was intimidated by this hearing. They helped her find the courage to proceed against her domineering and controlling spouse. They stayed throughout and congratulated her when it was over. June’s friends were quiet and dignified in the courtroom, and there was no danger of alienating the judge with a noisy cheering section.
Your close friends, co-workers and family are a support network waiting to be called upon. They’re a lot less expensive than a therapist. They know your history already, while a new therapist will take billable time to learn about you. Remember, however, that your support network isn’t professionally trained. Look to them for endorsement and common sense. Your therapist will provide insight and tools to deal with your problems and help you chart your future course.
Your support group should be your unqualified advocates. They should acknowledge and respect your feelings, not encourage you to suppress them. Destructive thoughts should be channeled into constructive outlets. On the other hand, they should point out conduct or strategies likely to hurt you if you pursued them.