Archive for August, 2011

Five Steps to Happiness After Divorce

Monday, August 29th, 2011

“To achieve a positive outlook and keep the emotional baggage from undermining… life after divorce,” one divorce consultant and educator advises a five-step program. Deborah Moskovitch, the author of The Smart Divorce: Proven Strategies and Valuable Advice from 100 Top Divorce Lawyers, Financial Advisers, Counselors and Other Experts, suggests these five steps:

1. Acknowledge that you are grieving and deal with the emotions.

2. Put your children’s best interests first.

3. Learn about your finances – develop a monthly budget, understand your assets and liabilities.

4. Think about how you would like your life to look like after divorce and start doing some of those things now, to help you get there.

5. Prepare for the friend dynamics. It’s not about you, but how friends react to divorce itself.

Divorce Depression Hits Men Hard

Thursday, August 25th, 2011

A Canadian study suggests that divorce people are a higher risk of depression than those who stayed married. The study revealed that divorced men were six times more likely to report a bout of depression, and that divorced women were more than three times more likely to do so.

The survey found that 12 per cent of people who were no longer in a relationship reported a new episode of depression, while just three per cent of those who remained in a relationship had suffered new depression. Moreover, more than three-quarters of those who suffered depression in the post-relationship period were no longer depressed four years after the breakup, the findings show. “It sort of suggests that, for the majority, the effects of your relationship breaking up … people seem to get back on their feet but there is this significant minority for whom trouble seems to persist,” said Michelle Rotermann, the author of the study.

“Perhaps one of the reasons why men are more at risk of experiencing subsequent depression is because one of their main sources of social support is their partner, their spouse, and now she is no longer there,” said Rotermann, an analyst at Statistics Canada.Nineteen per cent of men who were no longer with their spouse found a decline in social support, while only six per cent of men who remained in a relationship found a drop. Among women the proportions were 11 per cent for those no longer in a relationship and five for those who were.

Jennifer Tipper, a research associate with the Vanier Institute of the Family in Ottawa, said “typically women are much better at building and maintaining social supports, which isn’t often the case for men.

“She said the study is a good reminder that the breakdown of a marriage is an extremely challenging transition for everybody involved. “We sometimes tend to think that it’s the woman who bears the brunt of a divorce outcome. And there is no question that women experience higher levels of economic strife. What we tend to forget in many instances, for the men in particular, they see children all but removed from their lives, which is a huge impact on your life.

“The study was based on longitudinal data from the National Population Health Survey. The analysis used five cohorts of observations of more than 2,000 men and 2,000 women, taken at two-year intervals. The respondents were between the ages of 20 and 64.

Marriage Killers: Stress and Exhaustion

Monday, August 8th, 2011

A new psychological research suggests that a rocky marriage and the incidence of divorce are far higher in couples engaged in stressful jobs and exhausting work.

Dr. Michael Aamodt, an industrial psychologist at Radford University in Virginia, devised a formula to establish the success of a marriage based on the career of one of the partners in order to analyze the propensity to divorce for major occupational categories. He used the formula (separated plus divorced) divided by (total population minus never married) to yield the percentage of people in 449 occupations who had been married but were no longer together.

Based on this, Aamodt says dancers, choreographers and bartenders have 40 percent chance of splitting up. The risk of break-up was equally high in marriages of nurses, psychiatrists and those who help the elderly and disabled. Chefs and mathematicians shared a 20 percent chance of splitting while journalists and urban planners had a 17.54 percent chance. Librarians, dieticians and fitness instructors had a 16.89 percent chance of breaking up. In addition, travel agents, writers and police had 16 percent chance of divorce, slightly higher than fire fighters and teachers. Marriages of vets and funeral directors were likely to be a little more successful than that of judges and magistrates, who had a 12 percent of ending in divorce. According to researchers, the key to marital bliss was marriage to agricultural engineers, optometrists, dentists, clergyman and podiatrists, which carry a 2-7 percent chance of ending in divorce.

Aamodt said, “What is interesting is that those involved in caring professions experience a high level of break-up. This might be because they spend too long caring for other people at the cost of their own families, or because they are naturally sensitive people who are more vulnerable and sensitive in their own relationship.”